Plays
by
Daniel Guyton
FULL LENGTH PLAYS (Longer than 1 hr)

THE DARKER PLACES TRILOGY - 4M,2F (or 3M,3F). Full-Length (90 min). A collection of 3 one-
act plays about William, a troubled teenager, boy, and man. Each play takes place in a
separate room in William's house, and symbolically his mind. The titles are
ATTIC,
BASEMENT and CRAWLSPACE.
*ATTIC won the Kennedy Center/ACTF Short Play award, 2004*
"If you like psychological thrillers, you REALLY need to see THE DARKER PLACES TRILOGY.
With a tight script by Daniel Guyton, spectacular direction by David Crowe, and an amazing,
talented cast. I was blown away." (Rachel Jones, The Alliance Theatre, 2012)
For more information, please click here.

I'M NOT GAY! - 6M,1F. Full-Length (80 min). Gary is a homophobe. The play explores his
prejudices in one of the funniest, most shocking tragedies of all time. Loved and hated by
critics across the globe, this play nearly caused someone to choke to death on opening night in
Iceland. Some say it was from laughter. Others say it was the bile in the back of her throat.
Regardless, you'll never forget the experience as Gary tries to prove how "not gay" he truly
is. Mature audiences only.
*Winner - Best Comedy Award from the Author’s Playhouse New Author’s Festival, 2005*
"Artistically flawed... morally repugnant... I'M NOT GAY! [belongs in] a category of its own - the
theatre of the obnoxious." (Grant Tyler Peterson,
offoffonline.com, 2005)
For more information, please click here.

THE MOTHER OF GOD VISITS HELL - 7M,7F (flexible gender). Full Length (90 min), Based on a
poem described in
The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky; and written in rhyming
Iambic pentameter. The Virgin Mary travels to hell to comfort the souls in torment. While
there, she condemns her own soul to save those of all mankind - much to God's dismay. What
erupts is a war between Heaven and Hell, with all of our souls in the balance.
*Winner of the Helen-Jean Play Contest 'Literary Creativity' Award, 2015*
*Official Selection of the
Last Frontier Theatre Conference in Valdez, AK, 2014*
*Semi-Finalist in the
Princess Grace Playwriting Fellowship, 2014*
*Performed as a staged reading with
Judith Malina in the title role, 2010*
"THE MOTHER OF GOD VISITS HELL has my strongest recommendation. It holds out the hope
that American playwrights will move above realism. What's more, Mr. Guyton's talents as a poet
and a dramatist are stellar, and the script is a model for other dramatists." (Steve Capra, The
Living Theatre in NYC, 2009)
For more information, please click here.

THREE LADIES OF ORPINGTON - 2M,3F. Full-length. Story idea by L Marcus Williams. Three high-
borne women in Victorian Era England must face a brutal reality when the patriarch of the
family passes away, leaving them with no money and with little hope for the future. When a
strange man appears at the doorway, it seems that hope may be restored. Or will it only get
worse from there?
*Top Ten Semifinalist in the Stanley Drama Award Competition, 2017*
*Finalist in the
Kitchen Dog Theatre's New Works Festival, 2017*
*Nominee for
Metropolitan Atlanta Theatre Award for Best Original Work, 2017*
"It's not often a play arrives in DeKalb County mixing laughs, wit, heart, axe murder, betrayal, a
true interpretation of the Victorian era and provides opportunities to take the art of local theater to
new heights...
THREE LADIES OF ORPINGTON proves to be an exception... One of [the play]'s
main strengths is in its script. Guyton's ability to combine tragedy and comedy seems to come as
second nature. Neither is lingered upon too heavily and audiences will find themselves both
laughing and crying at the fortune and misfortune of the characters...
THREE LADIES OF
ORPINGTON
is a strange and wonderful addition to the realm of theater that arrives on cue for
Halloween. The play captures the gothic, the Victorian, the familial tragedy and sardonic comedy
of examining an era in which there seemed to be little, if any benefactors. Both laugh-out-loud
funny and tissue-worthy tragic, it's good to know plays like this are still being written and making
their debut at local theaters such as Onion Man Productions." (R. Scott Belzer,
The Dekalb
County Chamption, 2017)
For more information, please click here.

WHERE'S JULIE? - 5M,4F. Full length (90 min), 15-year old Julie runs away from home to escape
her abusive father, her delusional mother, and her autistic younger brother, only to find
herself "knocked up" by her drug dealing boyfriend, harassed by her selfish older sister, and
shunned by her Born-Again Christian friend. But, when she contemplates abortion, that's
when the play gets really funny. Mature audiences only.
*Winner of the Kennedy Center/ACTF Region II Playwriting Award, 2001*
*Winner of the Northwest Zone High School Drama Festival's Best Production, Best Actress,
Best Supporting Actress, and Best Sound Awards, 2008*
"Daniel Guyton has done a fantastic job of creating likeable characters out of what may at first
appear to be less than desirable stereotypes.
WHERE'S JULIE? may at times be offensive, crass,
and in your face. But that’s the point. Sometimes life is exactly that. If you only take one thing
away from this performance, let it be this: sometimes life can be downright miserable, but there’s
always room for laughter if we don’t take ourselves too seriously... If you like dark, offensive
comedy (think South Park or Family Guy), with a good deal of wit and character, then this is your
kind of theater!" (Richard Sagendorf, Mostly Harmless, 2012)
For more information, please click here.


ANTHOLOGIES (Collected Works)

52 MONOLOGUES FOR GROWN-UPS (AND COLLEGE KIDS) - A collection of 52 audition
monologues for actors ages 17 and up. A collection of funny, dark, and disturbing monologues
by Daniel Guyton. Perfect for actors, students, and actors pretending to be students. Some
monologues may not be suitable for children under 17.
"As an actor with over 20 years in the industry, Daniel's work has become a life saver! The constant
round of auditioning, and the more and more constant need to find a GOOD monologue that's
fresh and fun (or even dark and gritty, or emotional and intense) never ends. Since discovering
Daniel's work I've seriously not looked anywhere else - and even better, it's won me roles. Daniel's
work is unique. With each monologue it's easy to find the character, establish a background and
motivation for them, and 'live' them for the director, producer or casting agent. Whether you're
doing your show reel or performing for a paying job, or are new to the business, or a seasoned
professional, Daniel's collection of original monologues will help you. They're fun to read, they're
often hilarious to perform and I've had a few casting agents ask me where I got my monologue
from and they've often commented on how nice it's been to hear something fresh and new. I can't
recommend his work more highly, and I can't thank him enough for giving us something
intelligent, intuitive and easy to work with." (Jarryd Williams, actor, 2014)
For more information, please click here.

THE GRINCH WHO B***H-SLAPPED SANTA CLAUS (And Other Christmas Cheer) - A
collection of Short Christmas Plays for the naughty children on your list
. Features
GRIMBALDT THE CHRISTMAS PIMP, CHRISTMAS ON LIFE SUPPORT, DOMINIC THE
DONKEY GETS LARYNGITIS, DECEMBER 24th, A MERRY COUGAR CHRISTMAS
, and
OLD CHUMS. These dark comedies are sure to make your belly shake like a bowl full of jelly!
--Unproduced

HILARIOUS NIGHTMARES - A collection of 8 One-Act Plays. Includes the titles Georgie Gets
a Facelift, Romance is Dead, Bedford's Sty, Milo & Barbara, Spat!, Father and Son, I'm Not
G
ay!, and The Sins of Rebethany Chastain (Info for each play can be found below). These
shows will terrify you, make you laugh, and might even make you cry - all at the same time.
Come hear murderous confessions, romances gone wrong, and dreadful deeds aplenty. These
dark comedies are sure to delight, offend, and most of all entertain!
"Last night to come see HILARIOUS NIGHTMARES! Don't miss this one. The cast has put in a
lot of hard work, and the writing is just phenomenal. Oh, and it's funny. And offensive. It's like
South Park on stage. Or Family Guy, without the flashbacks. Well, mostly without the flashbacks.
There's a tooth fairy. And stage guns. And it's just good, alright? So no excuses. 8pm... Be there, or
be not as cool as I thought you were." (Rich Sagendorf, Mostly Harmless Productions, 2013)
For more information, please click here.

HILARIOUS NIGHTMARES 2 - A collection of 8 One-Act Plays. Includes the titles Macabre-
Cadabra; Bingo, the Birthday Clown; Don Wannabe; Fat Dick; Say Hi To Agnes For Me; The
Grim Raper; Poor Bastard
; and Poisoned Apples (Info for each play can be found below). These
shows will terrify you, make you laugh, and might even make you cry - all at the same time.
Come hear murderous confessions, romances gone wrong, and dreadful deeds aplenty. These
dark comedies are sure to delight, offend, and most of all entertain!
--Produced by Mostly Harmless Productions in Schenectady, NY, 2014

THE TWISTED MIND OF DANIEL GUYTON (Poetry And Plays In The Dark Comedy Vein) -  
A collection of plays and poems in the Dark Comedy vein, all by Daniel Guyton. Includes the
plays:
Spat!; Milo & Barbara; Georgie Gets a Facelift; Attic; I'm Not Gay!; Romance is Dead;
A Friend to All the Little Guys; In the Shadow of a War; You Trippin?; Father and Son; Half-
Wit; Boys Night In; Got Change for a Two? and the following poems: Cold; Abandoned;
Waking Up Abandoned; Here, You Laughing; Black Death and Puppy Love; Unrelenting;
Waking Up; Man of War; Finding the Ignition; Family Ties; Consolation Prize; Beauty; Good
Times Go;
and Mary's Song.
"This collection of short plays and poems are not only interesting in their own right, but they
provide a gold mine of possibilities for actors, teachers, and directors seeking audition or workshop
material. Lots of challenging and different characters in interesting situations. A pleasure to read
and to perform." (Review on Amazon.com, 2014)
For more information, please click here.


ONE-ACT PLAYS (Longer than 10 minutes)

ATTIC - 3M,1F. One-Act (35 min). A dark, poetic journey into the mind of a troubled teenager; it
combines poetry, audience interaction, and dark humor in a unique storytelling environment,
inspired by Edgar Allan Poe and Alfred Hitchcock. Part One of
The Darker Places Trilogy, a
series of one-act plays centering around 3 different rooms within a troubled man's home.
*Winner of the Kennedy Center/ACTF Region II Playwriting Award, 2001*
"Darkly funny and emotionally raw... Directing [ATTIC] was one of the highlights of my
theatrical career. This is a dark, yet moving play that can be taken in many interesting directions by
an intelligent and creative cast. It's deep, with a lot of facets, so have fun with it!" (Greg Campbell,
Incumbo Theatre Company, 2012)
For more information, please click here.

BASEMENT - 1M,2F. One-Act (25 min), Part Two of The Darker Places Trilogy, a series of one-act
plays centering around 3 different rooms in a troubled man's home. BASEMENT involves two
women trapped in a bas... well, you get the idea. It chronicles their efforts to escape.
"As a professional actress with 30 years of experience I was lucky enough to perform in the world
premiere of
BASEMENT. The character was masterfully crafted, the play a gem." (Lisa Mende,
Circle Ensemble Theatre, 2012)
For more information, please click here.

BEDFORD'S STY - 3M. One-Act (20 min), A grown man named Bedford refuses to clean up his
room - even when a ghost tells him he has to!
"By far the most entertaining night of theater I have seen at the Alley [Theater]... BEDFORD'S
STY
... brought the classic Vincent Price films to mind... It explores the hell we create for ourselves.
This play has taken elements of comedy and thrown in moments of psychological thrills and
created a piece that culminates not only the collection of plays within "Bits and Pieces" but also
the entire Inhuman Festival occurring at the Alley Theater." (Kate Barry,
Arts-Louisville.com,
2013)
For more information, please click here.

BRITTLE - 3 characters, either gender. One-Act (20 min), Art and humanity collide, in this one-
act drama about three people in a museum trying to decide which of them is art, and which of
them is real.
"I [enjoyed it]. Immensely! Your play was very good and fascinating. The actresses did a fantastic
job!" (Scott Rousseau, Onion Man Productions, 2016)
--Produced by New Origins Theatre Company in Atlanta, GA, 2016

A FRIEND TO ALL THE LITTLE GUYS - 3M,1F. One-Act (40 min); Two mob thugs pressure a
poor schmuck into kidnapping a baby for them. Ey, it's freakin' hilarious.
"I enjoyed all three of your works, and especially loved A FRIEND TO ALL THE LITTLE GUYS!"
(Hal Harper, director, 2015)
For more information, please click here.

GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT - 1M,2F. One-Act (15 min), A young man tries to kill himself in
this dark, disturbing comedy, but an accidental murder puts things into perspective. Mature
audiences only.
*Finalist in the Kennedy Center/ACTF Region IV 10-Minute Play Competition, 2003*
*Finalist in the Time to Strike! Festival in Manhattan, NY, 2012*
*Semi-Finalist in the Riant Theatre's Strawberry One-Act Festival in Manhattan, NY, 2005*
*Joey Folsom's "Georgie" listed as Outstanding Male Performance of 2010 in
Theatre Jones*
*Published in
One Acts of Note 2008 by Desert Road Publishing, 2009*
*Excerpt published in
The Best Men's Stage Monologues of 2014 by Smith & Kraus, 2014*
*Excerpt published in
Best Contemporary Monologues for Men 18-35 by Applause Books, 2014*
"In Daniel Guyton's GEORGIE GETS A FACELIFT, the blackest of black comedies, the suicide
attempts of the title character (played by Joey Folsom) keep getting interrupted by the telephone
and the doorbell... [The other show] holds your attention, but Guyton's delightfully perv
erse script
is the one that you'll remember." (Lawson Taitte,
Dallas Morning News, 2010)
For more information, please click here.

GOT CHANGE FOR A TWO? - 3M,2F. One-Act (45 min) - Co-written with Spencer Temkin. Two
friends get drunk, discuss money, and bad-mouth the opposite sex. Well... not as much as they
bad-mouth each other.
For more information, please click
here.

IN THE BEGINNING - 2M,2F. One-Act (15 min), The Book of Genesis is produced as a play by a
low-budget community theatre, to near disastrous results.
--Unproduced

A LESSON FROM DR. WADDEL - 1M, One-Act (15 min) - Co-written with Evelyn Reece - Dr.
Moses Waddel, fifth president of the University of Georgia, hands over the keys to the sixth
president, Dr. Alonzo Church, in this biographical play - set in the actual home both men
resided in during the early part of the 19th century. Adapted from a play by Thomas Horton,
and written exclusively for the Church-Waddel-Brumby House in Athens, GA.
"The tour starts at the Church-Waddel-Brumby house with A FAREWELL TO DR. WADDEL
(sic), a vignette Daniel Guyton wrote while collaborating with [Evelyn] Reece. The play is adapted
in part from Thomas Horton’s work, Log Cabin Learning on the Carolina Frontier. It’s a story that
chronicles a changing of the guard between two early University of Georgia presidents during the
early 1800's when the university was struggling. Even in hard times, the students wanted to give
their leader a fitting send-off, Reece said. The boys were rascals during this period – they’d stay up
all night having parties and playing music,” she said. “Some things haven’t changed that much."
(Joe VanHoose,
Athens Banner-Herald, 2011)
--Produced by the Athens Welcome Center in Athens, GA, 2011
--Produced by the
Athens Welcome Center in Athens, GA, 2012

MACABRE-CADABRA - 2M,1F. One-Act (20 min), A magician with a very dark secret receives an
offer that he... really should refuse.
*Official Selection of the Last Frontier Theatre Conference in Valdez, AK, 2012*
"A professional magician thought he had everything he ever wanted, until he gets a taste of the real
thing. Will he choose tricks over treats? Or is he happy waving his wand and pulling out a rabbit?
Find out in this inquisitive comedy/drama by Daniel Guyton,
MACABRE-CADABRA!" (Press
Release, Darkhorse Dramatists, 2013)
For more information, please click here.

MACBREATH - 5M,5F. One-Act (25 min), a parody of Shakespeare's Macbeth. Set in corporate
America. Highlights include Dunkin', the president of the Donut company, getting killed by a
scalding cup of coffee.
--Published in Dimensions Magazine in 1995
--Performed at
Sachem High School in 1995

MILO & BARBARA - 1M,1F. One-Act (15 min), Barbara's life is turned upside-down when her
husband suddenly vanishes without a warning. When he returns four weeks later, they each
try to pick up the pieces.
*Finalist in the Kennedy Center/ACTF Region IV 10 Minute Play Competition, 2002*
"MILO & BARBARA by Daniel Guyton... has an intriguing set-up, and an ironic ending, as a
husband returns home after an unexplained absence of four weeks to discover some unexpected
changes have occurred. It is psychologically interesting, and gifted actors Matt Benton as Milo and
Courtney Lomelo as Barbara find both the intensity and the humor, and create an intriguing
portrait of a marriage leaving a lot to be desired. The work is directed by Melissa Flower, who found
the energy and pace." (Jim J. Tommaney,
Houston Press, 2013)
For more information, please click here.

PIGTAILS AND BOBBY SOCKS - 1M,1F. One-Act (15 min), A young girl and a pervert meet at a
park bench. It doesn't turn out quite the way you'd expect...
--Performed at the Process Theatre's New Play Read-A-Thon in Atlanta, GA, 2013
--Performed by the
Core Artist Ensemble in Manhattan, NY, 2013

ROMANCE IS DEAD - 1M. Monologue (15 min). "I sleep with dead people..." Dr. Edward
Bainsbridge has been arrested for a terrible crime - interfering with a dead body. Four dead
bodies, to be exact. Come hear his terrible confession, which will shock you, repulse you, and
might even make you laugh...
*Semi-Finalist in the Spotlight On: One Person Play Competition, 2012*
*Excerpt published in T
he Best Men's Stage Monologues of 2014 by Smith & Kraus, 2014*
"Thanks for writing such an awesome piece. I've had a great time with this role and I haven't been
this excited about an opening night in a long time. It's stuff like this that made me fall in love with
acting in the first place." (Charlie Pierce, Third Eye Theatre, 2011)
For more information, please click here.


10 MINUTE PLAYS

ART: OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE - 2M,1F. One-Act (10 min), Two robots are sabotaged in a young
entrepreneur's workshop in this Steampunk style universe. Part 2 of The Legend of Steel
City: A Collection of Steampunk Inspired One-Acts.
*Finalist in the NDNU Hot August Theatre Festival Playwright's Contest in Belmont, CA, 2015*
"First up is Daniel Guyton’s splendidly costumed ART: OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE. This is a
strange play, in which Bob Smith plays the hard taskmaster of two art-creating robots, played by
Jeremy Clark and Cat Roche. The plot, such as it is, has taskmaster McGleetch slowly finding out
that a mysterious female rival has tampered with the robots. It’s neatly constructed and well acted,
and James Beck’s direction gets the utmost out of the script, which hints at a world we don’t fully
comprehend." (Playgoer,
theaterreview.com, 2014)
--Produced by Onion Man Productions in Atlanta GA, 2014
--Produced by
Notre Dame de Namur University in Belmont, CA, 2015

AN AXE TO GRIND - 2M,3F. One-Act (10 min), A mob boss feels threatened by his daughter's
new boyfriend. But the threat is not what you'd expect...
--Produced at the Mile High 24 Hour Play Festival in Denver, CO, 2017

BENEATH THE MONOLITH - 2M. One-Act (10 min), A young artist struggles against the
Industrial Revolution in this Steampunk style universe. Part 1 of The Legend of Steel City: A
Collection of Steampunk Inspired One-Acts.
*Finalist in the NDNU Hot August Theatre Festival Playwright's Contest in Belmont, CA, 2015*
"BENEATH THE MONOLITH is a one-act set in Victorian Era USA, with a distinctive Steampunk
style. The play follows the interactions of two artists who are old friends - one who is poor and
struggling against the oppressive industrialization of the Steampunk culture, the other who has
embraced it and become very successful. The play showcases the politics of the culture in regards to
art, and the way it affects each artists’ struggle with his inner demons." (Emma K Harr,
ActorsEmbassyNY.com, 2012)
--Performed at the Process Theatre's Read-A-Thon in Atlanta, GA, 2009
--Produced by the
Good Works Theatre Festival in Atlanta, GA, 2012
--Produced by
Notre Dame de Namur University in Belmont, CA, 2015

BINGO, THE BIRTHDAY CLOWN - 1M. One-Act (10 min), Bingo attends the funeral of his best
friend in full birthday clown regalia - much to the chagrin of his best friend's family.
"My favorite monologue of yours so far. The back story is intense and unexpected." (Asher
Wyndham, New Play Exchange, 2015)
"What's a birthday clown doing at a funeral? Hey, you can't spell funeral without F-U-N! Meet
Bingo, he's out of his element but attempting to pay his respects to a former love. From the
comedic mind of renowned playwright Daniel Guyton comes
BINGO THE BIRTHDAY CLOWN."
(Press Release, Darkhorse Dramatists, 2015)
"You wouldn't want Bingo at your child's birthday party. But you might want to book him for your
funeral, so he can chew to bits anyone on your hate list. Kidding aside, this is a powerful,
unforgettable monologue -- raw, intense, cruel like the characters in Guyton's Prison Monologues.
This character makes me wonder why we are so drawn to vicious characters... Perhaps, they're the
ones that suffered some childhood trauma or they've just suffered...just like us. Bravo, again."
(Asher Wyndham, New Play Exchange, 2015)
"Your monologue,
BINGO, THE BIRTHDAY CLOWN, went over very well at Saturday evening's
Darkhorse Dramatists, "Tales from the Script" performance! Congrats!" (Mickey Ray, Darkhorse
Dramatists, 2015)
--Performed at the Onion Man Productions' Annual Open House Party, 2015
--Produced at the
Piney Fork Press Theatre in Manhattan, NY, 2015
--Produced by
Darkhorse Drmatists in Binghamton, NY, 2015

BOYS NIGHT IN - 2M. One-Act (10 min), The power goes out on the hottest night of the year. As
the thermostat rises, so does the tension between these two roommates.
--Published in The Twisted Mind of Daniel Guyton (Poetry & Plays), 2009
--Produced by
Mostly Harmless Productions in Schenectady, NY, 2014

THE BRASS BANYAN - 2M.1F. One-Act (10 min), Two scientists take a journey in a hot air
balloon to search of the elusive "brass banyan" in this Steampunk style universe. Part 3 of
The Legend of Steel City: A Collection of Steampunk Inspired One-Acts.
*Finalist in the NDNU Hot August Theatre Festival Playwright's Contest in Belmont, CA, 2015*
--Produced by Notre Dame de Namur University in Belmont, CA, 2015

CAUGHT IN A WEBB - Various. One-Act (10 min), A bank robber named Fred Webb rats out his
fellow conspirators, in this historical drama set in Norcross, GA.
"Unbelievable. This is great from beginning to end." (Tanya Caldwell, Lionheart Theatre, 2017)
--Commissioned & Produced by the Lionheart Theatre in Norcross, GA, 2017

CRAWLSPACE - 1M,1F. One-Act (7 min), Part Three of The Darker Places Trilogy, a series of
one-act plays centering around 3 different rooms in a troubled man's home. CRAWLSPACE
shows us an early glimpse into that man's life.
"CRAWLSPACE adds a beautifully tragic climax to the show." (L Marcus Williams, A Fly on the
Fourth Wall Productions, 2012)
For more information, please click here.

DAFFODILS - 1M,1F. One-Act (10 min); A young man and his fiance' travel to his childhood
home. While there, some very dark secrets emerge to the surface.
*Winner of the AuditionArt.com Monologue Competition for Rain's Monologue, 2013*
*Finalist in the
Arts & Letters One-Act Play Competition, 2015*
*Finalist in the Stageworks/Hudson's Play by Play Festival in Hudson, NY, 2013*
*Excerpt published in
The Best Women's Stage Monologues of 2015 by Smith & Kraus, 2015*
*Published in
The Best American Short Plays 2013-2014 by Applause Theatre Books, 2015*
"I could hear Rain's voice and cadence so clearly that it was like re-living a conversation I'd had or
heard. I was in tears by the time I was halfway through it." (Maggie O'Brien, Columbus State
Community College, 2013)
For more information, please click here.

DEAD GIVEAWAY - 1M,1F. One-Act (10 min); Robert buys his wife an unconventional gift for
Valentine's Day, which leads to an awkward conversation about love after death.
*Winner of the Short+Sweet Manila Festival Audience Choice Award, 2016*
*Winner of the A.R.T. Valentine's Day Playwriting Competition, 2015*
*Winner of the End of the Road New Play Festival Judges' Choice Award, 2015*
*Finalist in the Short + Sweet Sydney Festival, 2016*
*Finalist in the Grief Dialogues Festival, 2016*
*Semi-Finalist in the Minnesota Shorts Festival of Plays, 2015*
*Honorable Mention in the Storefront Theatre's Playwriting Competition, 2015*
"The independent assessor of the plays has decided [DEAD GIVEAWAY] was the BEST play of all
the plays (over 70) submitted. The play was rehearsed yesterday and the actors concerned (as we
piloted 8 plays) ALSO decided it was the best play. What this means is that it WILL be performed.
There is still one more judging process - the audience - but the likelihood [is that] yours will be the
overall winner." (Margaret Taylor, Almost Random Theatre, 2015)
For more information, please click here.

DON WANNABE -1M,1F. One-Act (10 min); A handsome Hollywood player actually wants to be
sincere with women, but he just can't seem to do it. His inner monologue keeps taking over...
"Naughty, bawdy, touching, and maniacally funny in turns... A producer and an actress share a
conversation over a glass of wine as he slips in and out of brilliant sporadic Shakespearean
'moments of truth.' Hysterical!" (Pat Taylor,
Tolucan Times, 2013)
For more information, please click here.

FAT DICK - 1M,1F. One-Act (10 min), An overweight private detective has to solve a murder. But
can he figure out what to eat for dinner first?
*Finalist in the Independent Play(w)rights 10 Minute Play Competition, 2013*
*Semi-Finalist in the Little Fish Theatre's Pick of the Vine Competition, 2014*
*Published in
Best 10-Minute Plays of 2016 by Smith & Kraus, 2016
"Next-to-last is Daniel Guyton’s FAT DICK, which, as its title suggests, involves an obese private
detective. His nutritionist has been killed, and the nutritionist’s widow (the fabulous Katie Graham)
is under suspicion of murder. The action takes place as a stereotypical film noir meeting in the
detective's seedy office. There are clever lines, many recycled "fat" jokes, a nice flow, and an
appropriate ending twist. Peg Thon is terrific as the offstage voice of a secretary... Paul Donnelly
has directed the proceedings with nice blocking and flow." (Playgoer,
theaterreview.com, 2014)
For more information, please click here.

FATHER AND SON - 2M, various voices. One-Act (10 min), God becomes an atheist. Hijinks ensue.
"I just finished reading your plays and would like to add FATHER AND SON to my syllabus. Your
dark comedy would add a nice twist." (Jody Schardt, College of Lake County, 2012)
For more information, please click here.

GRAVE ASSURANCES - 1M,1F One-Act (10 min) - co-written with Laura Carson - A Jewish
comedian and his anti-semitic mother-in-law battle it out after her daughter passes away.
"The script was magnificent! I think I was the luckiest actor there! Funny, funny stuff! What a
rush!" (Mary Claire Klooster, Working Title Playwrights, 2012)
For more information, please click here.

THE GRIM RAPER - 1M,2F. One-Act (10 min), The Angel of Death tries to pick up women the
only way he knows how... With roofies.
*Published in The Best American Short Plays 2012-2013 by Applause Theatre Books, 2014*
"Daniel Guyton's THE GRIM RAPER takes its own comic barroom scene, but chillingly reverses
all audience allegiances by transforming an abstraction of Death into a commonplace but horrific
vision of evil." (William Demastes, Applause Theatre & Cinema Books, 2014)
--Produced by Mostly Harmless Productions in Albany, NY, 2013

HAM ON A COLD CEMENT FLOOR - 3M. One-Act (10 min), Two actors from Cat On a Hot Tin
Roof share a jail cell with the drunk heckler who ruined their show.
--Unproduced

HATE MALE - 1F. One-Act (10 min), An angry punk grrrl who hates men is arrested for
murder. She tells us why she did it.
*Semi-Finalist in the Women in the Age of Trump Festival, 2017*
*Excerpt published in
The Best Women's Stage Monologues of 2015 by Smith & Kraus, 2015*
"'HATE MALE'... is not comic. It starts with a vitriolic, foul-mouthed diatribe against an unseen
guard on the other side of invisible bars. The woman has suffered sexual abuse, and her behavior
and language alternate between sweet come-ons and hateful insults. The innocent-faced Ms.
Smallwood, with a bruise around her right eye, nails the character." (Playgoer,
TheaterReview.
com, 2015)
For more information, please click here.

I HEAR THE TRAIN A' COMING - 3M. One-Act (10 min), Three hobos discuss the railway life, in
this historical drama set in Norcross, GA.
--Commissioned & Produced by the Lionheart Theatre in Norcross, GA, 2015-16

I'M NOT GAY! - 2M. One Act (10 min). A gay man and a homophobe are trapped on an elevator
together. Hijinks ensue.
(This is also the first scene of a full-length play)
*Winner of the Best Comedy Award from the Author's Playhouse New Author Festival, 2005*
"A brilliant play about all the hypocrisy about homosexualism (sic) and people either loved it or
hated it... just as it should be." (Gudmundur Ingi Thorvaldsson, Theatre Loftkastalinn, 2005)
For more information, please click here.

IN AND OUT - 1M,2F. One-Act (10 min), A young girl believes she is a soldier in a war zone, but
her doctor has another opinion on the matter.
--Produced at the Nugget Fringe Festival in Grass Valley, CA, 2017

IN THE SHADOW OF A WAR - 2M. One-Act (10 min), A nod to Samuel Beckett, and a satire of
this blasted war. Two roommates await the cannon fire of an impending army.
"IN THE SHADOW OF A WAR, by Daniel Guyton, is a cut above. It's highly reminiscent of
Samuel Beckett's "Waiting for Godot," but seems to take place in some sort of dungeon in which
two prisoners cower and read from a blank book, awaiting a coming war. The dialogue is opaque
and repetitious, but very nicely delivered by Jerry Jobe and Bob Winstead. Julie Taliaferro's
direction prevents the action from becoming static. It provokes thought, [and] it's the sort of piece
that needs to be done to perfection to work on all levels." (Playgoer,
TheaterReview.com, 2013)
For more information, please click here.

JANUARY'S ALIBI - 1F. One-Act (10 min), January is a poor woman, accused of murdering the
father of her child. In this interrogation sequence, she explains what really happened.
*Excerpt published in The Best Women's Stage Monologues of 2016 by Smith & Kraus, 2016*
"'JANUARY'S ALIBI' is spoken to police interrogators who are questioning a woman (Tanya
Freeman) in the shooting death of her child’s father. There’s a lot of foul language in this play...
but it’s repeatedly followed by "excuse my French," with some questioning of how crude the
French must be to come up with all these cuss words. There are a lot of comic elements in the
writing, but the tone isn’t fully comic. This woman seems unusually enthusiastic about her young
son, Allegro Junior (although his father has an entirely different first name). Since four-year-old
Allegro was at least a witness of the murder, the tone wavers a bit between comedy and
seriousness... The blocking and acting are first-rate." (Playgoer,
TheaterReview.com, 2015)
"French vegetarian Episcopalians, it turns out, still get police attention when they turn up full of
bullets." (Bob Smith, Working Title Playwrights, 2015)
"Daniel Guyton, one of my favorite playwrights and director, I can't thank you enough for
choosing me to give January a voice. She's f-ing funny to me (excuse my French)." (Tanya
Freeman, Atlanta Fringe Festival, 2015)
"A gripping monologue about a woman accused of a heinous crime - the murder of her boy's
father. I was intrigued to find out what happened the night of the murder - specifically, who fired
the fatal shot - but I was also interested in learning more about this woman -- her life, her
personality -- through her digressions. When she talks about meat and vegetables, it's
illuminating." (Asher Wyndham,
New Play Exchange, 2015)
--Produced at the Atlanta Fringe Festival in Atlanta, GA, 2015
--Produced at the
Classic City Fringe Festival in Athens, GA, 2015
--Excerpt published in Best Women's Stage Monologues 2016 by Smith & Kraus, 2016

THE MEDLOCK FILES - 1M. One-Act (10 min), An African-American man in 1908 recalls
meeting R.O. Medlock, an actual historical figure from Norcross, GA, whose building burned
down in the worst fire in Norcross' history, and who died from falling down an elevator shaft.
--Commissioned & Produced by the Lionheart Theatre in Norcross, GA, 2016

MID-DAY AT THE GREASY SPOON - 2M. One-Act (10 min), Two friends meet at a greasy spoon
diner, eat lousy soup and talk about love.
--Unproduced

MY FATHER'S FLAG - 2M,1F. One-Act (10 min), Co-Written with Colin Thon. Three soldiers pay
tribute to their fathers, who died in their respective wars.
--Produced by Veteran's Museum of Balboa Park in San Diego, CA, 2017

MY PRETTIES - 1M. One-Act (10 min), A deranged man reminisces with four corpses about the
manner in which he killed them. But then the corpses come to life... It's perfect for Halloween!
--Produced by Onstage Atlanta in Atlanta, GA, 2016

OLD CHUM - 2M. One-Act (10 min), Two former roommates meet on Christmas Eve, after one of
them stole the other's wife away from him. Mature audiences only.
--Unproduced

POISONED APPLES - 2F. One-Act (10 min), Two old women plan an unforgettable Halloween
celebration for the children in their neighborhood.
*Finalist for the Best Actor Award (Ian Ramsey) from AudioverseAwards.net, 2016*
"I just wanted to let you know that the play recordings went really well and that [POISONED]
APPLES
went down with great delight. [It] was absolutely delicious to hear." (Jon Coupe,
Blackwell Playhouse, 2015)
"Loved the play... Satan was really fun." (Stephanie Hojin, playwright, 2015)
"I just listened to [the radio play] - it got me into the Halloween spirit! I really liked the authentic
English accents. And the real audience laughter was a nice touch. Congratulations!" (Martha
Patterson, Playwrights' Binge, 2015)
"What fun, Dan! You have a slightly warped sense of humor, and I enjoyed it. I agree with Martha
that the English accents were delicious and the spontaneous laughter a treat." (Nancy Gall-
Clayton, Playwrights' Binge, 2015)
"The reverb voice of the devil gave me goosebumps and giggles. Congratulations and have a Happy
Halloween!" (Margaret Huber, Playwrights' Binge, 2015)
--Produced by Darkhorse Dramatists in Binghamton, NY, 2014
--Performed at the
Process Theatre's Play Day Read-A-Thon in Atlanta, GA, 2014
--Produced by
Backwell Playhouse as a Radio Drama in Bristol, UK, 2015
--Produced by
Onstage Atlanta in Atlanta, GA, 2016

POLE DANCES WITH WOLVES - 1M,1F. One-Act (10 min), A stripper and a strip-club owner  get
into a huge argument after a prominent customer gets a little too "touchy-feely" with her.
--Staged Reading at Process Theatre's Play Day Read-A-Thon

POOR BASTARD - 2M. One-Act (10 min), A homeless man finds a dead body in an alley - a RICH
dead body. Who vaguely resembles himself. What would YOU do if you were him?
"I love POOR BASTARD and looking forward to seeing it again today. I'm forever a Daniel
Guyton fan!" (Tanya Freeman, GOOD Works Theatre Festival, 2013)
--Performed at the GOOD Works Theatre Festival in Atlanta, GA, 2013

RUBBLE WITHOUT A CAUSE - 3M, either gender. One-Act (10 min), The statues of Robert E Lee,
George Washington, and Christopher Columbus try to prepare themselves for their inevitable
demise at the hands of angry protesters.
--Performed at the Process Theatre's Play Day Read-A-Thon in Atlanta, GA, 2017

THE SAPPHIRE SABOTEUR - 1M.1F. One-Act (10 min), A woman dressed in blue convinces an
artist to destroy his entire life's work in this Steampunk style universe. Part 4 of The Legend
of Steel City: A Collection of Steampunk Inspired One-Acts.
--Unproduced

SAY HI TO AGNES FOR ME - 1F. One-Act (10 min), Jess is an older woman in an all-female
penitentiary, here helping a younger prisoner learn the ropes.
*Excerpt published in The Best Women's Stage Monologues of 2016 by Smith & Kraus, 2016*
"The last play is 'SAY HI TO AGNES FOR ME,' starring Peg Thon as a prison-hardened woman
speaking to what appears to be a new cell-mate. The overall menacing tone is relieved by a variety
of anecdotes, but by only a couple of comic elements. This is a bleak, wonderfully acted piece that
truly captures the psyche of a woman marked by her criminal past, but also twisted by her time in
confinement. It’s powerful stuff." (Playgoer,
TheaterReview.com, 2015)
"Jess, a prisoner going on 40 years in confinement, is a complex character. You might not identify
with her, but she definitely deserves our understanding and our empathy. Yes, she has her vices, but
she also has her virtues. She has the positive and negative traits that actors want in the greatest
characters. She has a tragic past, but she's found some happiness in the present -- and that shows
us her strength. She has a rare fortitude -- she will survive in her cell city until she dies. Better
listen to her, learn the ropes, get close to her." (Asher Wyndham,
New Play Exchange, 2015)
"This was a spectacular show... Peg Thon nearly scared the pee-pee out of me. Parents, teach your
children well to keep them out of prison!" (David Fisher, Working Title Playwrights, 2015)
"Riveting, Peg! I was just enthralled from beginning to end. Boy, are you good! You rock!"
(Barbara Bruce, Atlanta Fringe Festival, 2015)
--Produced at the Atlanta Fringe Festival in Atlanta, GA, 2015
--Produced at the
Classic City Fringe Festival in Athens, GA, 2015

SERVICE FOR NONE - 1M,1F. One-Act (10 min), A veteran attempts to get care from a local VA
hospital, only to find out that things are far worse here than they were on the battlefield.
--Produced by Veteran's Museum of Balboa Park in San Diego, CA, 2017
--Performed at the
Process Theatre's Play Day Read-A-Thon in Atlanta, GA, 2017

THE SINS OF REBETHANY CHASTAIN - 1F, One-Act (10 min). A prison inmate shares her zany
story about how she got arrested, in this one woman monologue.
*Excerpt published in The Best Women's Stage Monologues of 2014 by Smith & Kraus, 2014*
*Excerpt published in
Best Contemporary Monologues for Women 18-35, Applause Books, 2014*
"First up is 'THE SINS OF REBETHANY CHASTAIN.' In this beautifully blocked monologue,
Kate Guyton tells the story of what sent Rebethany to prison. Ms. Guyton has a white trash twang,
and the tale she tells is a comic set of grievances centering around a bicycle and jealousy of a girl in
her class. Yes, there’s a crime involved, but it’s a convoluted path in the telling. It’s beautifully
rendered, by playwright, director, and actress alike." (Playgoer,
TheaterReview.com, 2015)
For more information, please click here.

SPAT! - 2M,1F. One-Act (10 min), A man and wife have a horrible argument over the wife's affair
with an illegal immigrant.
"Dan Guyton's SPAT! was the hit of the evening... All of the actors were very good and well cast
and it was great to have just several hard laughs... The main guy had hair that looked slightly
better than a toupee which helped in some strange way and the actor playing Paco delivering the
line "JES" just cracked up the whole house. I laughed right off the bat when he said "I hate you, I
hate you more, you're a slut..." I dunno, I like that s**t, man." (Michael Erger, Playwrights Binge,
2013)
For more information, please click here.

THE TOOTH FAIRY GETS AIDS - 2M, One-Act (10 min). The Tooth Fairy gets some really bad
news...
"Oh my god... this was one of the funniest skits I have ever seen." (Matt Holden, Mostly Harmless
Productions, 2013)
--Produced by Mostly Harmless Productions in Albany, NY, 2013
--Produced by
Herman Torkelson's Armada in Anchorage, AK, 2015

TOTALLY BUZZED - 2F. One-Act (10 min), A young woman loses her vibrator right before her
"big date!" Can the kindly old woman at the coat check counter help out?
--Produced by Mostly Harmless Productions in Schenectady, NY, 2014

URINE TROUBLE NOW - 2M. One-Act (10 min), A young man's job interview is going
swimmingly! Until he learns the results of his unfortunate "piss test."
*Excerpt published in The Best Men's Stage Monologues of 2016 by Smith & Kraus, 2016*
"An exceptional actor was cast as Gibbons in URINE TROUBLE NOW... He had the entire cast
and crew in tears from laughter... Thank you for writing such a fun script to dig into!!" (Pavlina
Morris, Changing Scene Theatre, 2015)
"It's rare that I bust a gut laughing when reading a play. Read it [and you'll] laugh out loud --
produce it and your audience will laugh out loud. These characters are not exaggerations -- I've
worked in call centers, plenty of 'questionable' people." (Asher Wyndham,
New Play Exchange,
2015)
"I think it’s hysterical." (Kurt Kleinmann, Pegasus Theatre, 2015)
"Daniel Guyton’s
URINE TROUBLE NOW was very funny, and had one of the best lines, which I
can only paraphrase: 'I’ve always wanted to be a telemarketer.' (You probably had to be there, but
trust me, it was a riot.)" (Babs Lindsay, Changing Scene Theatre Northwest, 2015)
--Performed at the Process Theatre's Play Day Read-A-Thon in Atlanta, GA, 2014
--Produced by the
Changing Scene Theatre Northwest in Tacoma, WA, 2015
--Excerpt published in
222 More Comedy Monologues by Smith & Kraus, 2016

THE WEDDING NIGHT TWEETS - 1M,1F. One-Act (10 min), A newlywed husband discovers a
problem with his wife's over-zealous affinity for social media on the day after their wedding.
*Winner of the Arkansas Theatre Collective's Spring Cleaning Festival, 2016*
*Winner of the Audience Favorite Award from Short+Sweet Manila (Philippines), 2017*

"Daniel is so so so funny! I saw this play at the last Frontier Conference fringe festival and we were
all laughing way too hard. The way Daniel can poke fun at current technology and how it affects
romantic relationship is spot on! If you are doing a one act fest, this one is sure to get people
excited!" (Catherine Weingarten, Last Frontier Theatre Conference, 2015)
For more information, please click here.

YOU TRIPPIN? - 4M. One-Act (10 min); 4 teenagers plan to shoot up their high school. But first
they want to play some video games and smoke a bowl. Are they for real? Or are they just
"trippin?" It's a very dark comedy.
--Performed at SUNY Albany in Albany, NY, 2000
--Published in
The Twisted Mind of Daniel Guyton (Poetry & Plays in the Dark Comedy Vein), 2009
For more information, please click here.


CHILDREN'S PLAYS

AN ALIEN IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - 6M,6F. One-Act (30 min), After a mysterious asteroid
lands in their town, a group of elementary school students suspect that one of their classmates
might be an alien from outer space.
*Commissioned by the Alliance Theatre in Atlanta GA, 2017*
--Produced by the Alliance Theatre's Junior Players Program in Atlanta, GA, 2017

THE BOY WHO CRIED WEREWOLF - 5M,5F. One-Act (30 min), A group of school students
believe their teacher is a werewolf.
*Commissioned by the Alliance Theatre in Atlanta GA, 2015*
*Finalist in the
Bergen County Academy's One-Act Festival in Hackensack, NJ, 2017*
*Excerpt published in
Best Contemporary Monologues for Kids 7-15 by Applause Books, 2015
*Excerpt published in
Audition Monologues for Young Men 2016 by Pioneer Drama Service, 2016
"The kids love your play THE BOY WHO CRIED WEREWOLF! Your play was very well received.
One gentleman in particular commented that it was the perfect choice. My favorite part as a
teacher/director; when they bow and then come off the stage so pumped up. They were so excited!
And proud! It was wonderful!" (Mary Claire Klooster, Cornerstone Middle School, 2015)
For more information, please click here.

AN ELF IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - 7M,7F. One-Act (30 min), In this delightful children's
comedy, Happy the Christmas Elf decides that he doesn't want to be an elf anymore. Instead,
he wants to go back to school and become a math teacher! Only problem? He can't add. So
Santa sends him back to elementary school, where he experiences hilarity and fun with the
other students - and gets reminded of the true meaning of Christmas.
*Commissioned by the Alliance Theatre in Atlanta GA, 2017*
--Produced by the Alliance Theatre's Junior Players Program in Atlanta, GA, 2017

THE KIDS AND THE FAIRY TREE - 4M,4F. One-Act (10 min), A group of children are performing
a school play about friendship and teamwork outdoors, when a magical fairy tells them to stay
away from their tree. When the teacher calls in the ghostbusters, all chaos breaks loose.
*Commissioned by ACTNET Entertainment Studios in Fayetteville, GA, 2016*
--Unproduced

KIM ARTHUR AND THE NERDS OF THE ROUND TABLE - 6M,7F. One-Act (30 min), A book-
smart girl removes a mysterious "motherboard from the stone" and becomes queen of Game-
A-Lot, where she and her fellow nerds invent the greatest video game of all time, in this
hilarious spoof of the King Arthur legend.
*Top 10 Finalist in the Moonlit Wings Playwriting Competition, 2016
*Commissioned by the Alliance Theatre in Atlanta, GA, 2015*
"It was absolutely delightful! Jordanne and I were so impressed with the acting, the professional-
ism, timing/humor, and the story. Two enthusiastic thumbs up! Thoroughly entertaining! (Kelly
and Jordanne, audience members, 2016)
For more information, please click here.

MISSING - 4M,4F. One-Act (30 min), A young girl goes missing, and her classmates try to find
her, in this gripping drama that helps warn children about "stranger danger" and the things
they can do to protect themselves.
*Commissioned by ACTNET Entertainment Studios in Fayetteville, GA, 2016*
--Unproduced


HOLIDAY PLAYS

CHRISTMAS ON LIFE SUPPORT - 2M.2F. One-Act (10 min), Santa's been in a terrible accident,
and it's up to Dr. Gumball to save his life. Can he do it? Or will we lose Santa (and Christmas)
forever?
--Produced by Newnan High School in Newnan, GA, 2016
--Produced by
Robert Morris University in Moon Township, PA, 2017

DEATH OF A SNOWMAN - 1M,1F. One-Act (10 min), A snowman and a little girl discuss the
afterlife in this existential Yuletide comedy.
*Winner of the GottaGo! Newsletter's "Favorite of the Evening" award in 2009*
*Semi-Finalist in the Play-Makers Spokane Hit & Run VII Series in Spokane, WA in 2013*
"I felt as if my face were leaking, I cried so much during this piece, but I just let the tears fall and
wiped them away as needed. I never got around to voting online, but Guyton’s “
DEATH OF A
SNOWMAN
” is probably my favorite of all of the Phoenix Xmas pieces." (Hope Baugh, Indy
Theatre Habit, 2010)
For more information, please click here.

DOMINIC THE DONKEY GETS LARYNGITIS - 3M (or 2M,1F). One-Act (10 min), Dominic the
Donkey gets laryngitis on the day before Christmas. Santa will be devastated, unless Dr.
Stevens can come to the rescue!
"The play is VERY funny. I think it's going to be a hit with our audiences. This year's very
competitive, but
DOMINIC is definitely one of the strongest entries." (Spenser Davis, Hobo
Junction Productions, 2014)
"What's in Daniel Guyton's fruitcake?!? A Christmas donkey, the best in Italy, needs a remedy for
his laryngitis before traveling with Santa Claus? What a wacky play! Please, please choose this play
for your Christmas festival. But make sure to give your audience egg nog and cookies. So when
they laugh out loud they make a big mess." (Asher Wyndham,
New Play Exchange, 2017)
--Produced by Suffolk County Community College in Selden, NY, 2013
--Produced by
Hobo Junction Theatre in Chicago, IL, 2014
--Performed at the
Process Theatre's Play Day Read-A-Thon in Atlanta, GA, 2017

AN ELF IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - 7M,7F. One-Act (30 min), In this delightful children's
comedy, Happy the Christmas Elf decides that he doesn't want to be an elf anymore. Instead,
he wants to go back to school and become a math teacher! Only problem? He can't add. So
Santa sends him back to elementary school, where he experiences hilarity and fun with the
other students - and gets reminded of the true meaning of Christmas.
*Commissioned by the Alliance Theatre in Atlanta GA, 2017*
--Produced by the Alliance Theatre's Junior Players Program in Atlanta, GA, 2017

GRIMBALDT, THE CHRISTMAS PIMP - 3M,1F. A series of short vignettes (20 min total), Grimbaldt
the Elf does NOT want to make toys anymore. Instead, he wants to be a pimp, and entertain
the "naughty" people in the audience.
"We read '[GRIMBALDT THE] CHRISTMAS PIMP' the other night aloud. Holy s**t. That was
the most hilarious and completely unproducible thing I've seen in a while... We were pissing
ourselves, and at the same time desperately afraid that anyone would hear us reading it. Holy shit,
that was Farrelly Brothers material." (Bob Smith, Out of Box Theatre, 2016)
"
GRIMBALDT made it to the final round of selections and is very funny." (Andrew Rosdail, The
World Crime League Theatre, 2017)
"I need to see this play. New fave for the holidays, based on title alone." (Amy Tallmadge, actor,
2016)
--Unproduced

HOW I MET YOUR SANTA - 1F. One-Act Monologue (10 min). Mrs Claus explains how she and
Santa first met, in this one woman monologue.
*Winner of the GottaGo! Newsletter's "Favorite of the Evening" award in 2011*
"Rocking into the Gotta Go spotlight this week is Gayle Steigerwald in HOW I MET YOUR
SANTA
, the tale of her first meeting with Saint Nick. The delightful tale is all the more
sentimental because of Steigerwald's tender storytelling ability. You will find yourself believing
every word of the future Mrs. Claus' account of the Christmas she encountered the jolly elf in her
childhood home. It is no surprise that this piece earns the Gotta Go "favorite of the evening" award
once I realized afterward that it had been written by Daniel Guyton. You'll remember Guyton
receiving my "favorite of the evening" in 2009 during Phoenix Theatre's A Very Phoenix Xmas 4:
Our Stockings are Stuffed with
Death of a Snowman. Guyton brings tender, real moments to the
stage without slipping down the too-much slope." (Elizabeth J Musgrave,
GottaGo.us, 2011)
For more information, please click here.

LAST OF THE TANNENBAUMS - 3M (or 2M,1F). One-Act (10 min), Eddie the Evergreen
desperately wants to be a Christmas tree, until a little bird tells him what really happens to
Christmas trees...
"LAST OF THE TANNENBAUMS is adorable - well, Eddie (the Evergreen) may not think so but
this human thinks it's very cute." (Geri Albrecht, Heuer Publishing, 2014)
For more information, please click here.

A MERRY COUGAR CHRISTMAS - 2F. One-Act (10 min), Two old ladies head to the mall in
search of hot young men to spend Christmas Eve with.
*Honorable Mention from the 15th Annual Estrogenius Festival, 2014*
"Thanks for submitting A MERRY COUGAR CHRISTMAS for consideration for our New Works
Winter Festival 2015. I really enjoyed reading about the food court cougars. You are absolutely
fearless when it comes to pushing comedy to the edge." (Tom Berry, ACME Theatre, 2014)
--Performed at the Process Theatre's Play Day Read-A-Thon in Atlanta, GA, 2014
--Produced as a Radio Drama by
KBPX Radio in Spokane, WA, 2015
--Produced by
Out of Box Theatre in Atlanta, GA, 2015
--Excerpt published in
222 More Comedy Monologues by Smith & Kraus, 2016
--Re-Aired as a Radio Drama by
KBPX Radio in Spokane, WA, 2016
--Produced by
AlphaNYC in Manhattan, NY, 2016

MRS. CLAUS GETS MENOPAUSE - 1M,1F One-Act (10 min). Santa's wife experiences her magical
"changes" on the most important day of Santa's year!
*Semi-Finalist in the Minnesota Shorts Festival of Plays in 2012*
"A thoroughly delightful and hilarious story about Mrs. Claus and Santa discussing her 'change of
life.' This is a short play that could be done by any holiday-themed festival with a sophisticated
audience. Not for children, but very funny." (Martha Patterson, playwright, 2015)
For more information, please click here.

REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS - 1F,2M One-Act (10 min). Mrs Claus reveals how she almost
married Arthur Kringle, Santa's rebellious older brother.
"Loved [REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS] at the Phoenix. So much fun, such a hoot. And they really
brought their A game - great actors, of course, but the costume design was especially inspired. Great
show!" (Eric Pfeffinger, Playwright, 2014)
For more information, please click here.

ROSIE, THE RETIRED ROCKETTE - 4F, One-Act (10 min). 86-year old Rosie is in a nursing
home, but she still thinks she's back in her fabulous Rockette days.
"When Dawn and her two daughters visit Dawn's mother, Rosie, in a nursing home, Rosie believes
that she is in her dressing room at Radio City and that her granddaughters are two new Rockettes.
While the granddaughters enjoy Rosie's scandalous stories - Rosie was a wild one - Dawn needs her
mother to see and recognize her. The acting was lovely, the direction was quite good, and the story
was moving." (Wendy Caster,
ShowShowdown.blogspot.com, 2012)
For more information, please click here.

THE SECOND CHRISTMAS - 2M.1F. One-Act (10 min), A year after the first Nativity, Joseph
laments being a step-dad to the Lord on High.
"Don't be quick to dismiss this play as something shocking like Thomas Bradshaw's Job. It's a
respectful imagining of a year later for the holiest family. This is a heart-warming play! This is one
of the few plays I know that humanizes Joseph, an underappreciated literary/historical figure. He's
got his doubts, he's imperfect; he's someone you can relate to. But he's striving to do the very best
for his wife and his child, the Son of God. The showdown with the Centurion is captivating and it
reveals the heroic character of Joseph. My favorite Guyton play (so far)!" (Asher Wyndham,
New
Play Exchange, 2017)
--Produced by Robert Morris University in Moon Township, PA, 2017
--Performed at the
Process Theatre's Play Day Read-A-Thon in Atlanta, GA, 2017

WELCOME TO CHRISTMAS VILLAGE - 1F. One-Act Monologue (5 min), Gingerbell, the
Christmas Elf, welcomes people to Christmas Village. Unfortunately, she gets a little
distracted by a handsome audience member, and has trouble keeping her lines right.
"Hahaha!!!  I adore it!  I love it!  Very funny and charming!" (Sylvia Veith, Onstage Atlanta, 2013)
"What a fun and cute monologue!" (Sarah Mason, Onstage Atlanta, 2013)
"A female Christmas elf... I think that's a first. Another memorable buffoon who wants more out
of life. She may remind you of yourself. I would love to see Gingerbell again." (Asher Wyndham,
New Play Exchange, 2015)
--Produced by Onstage Atlanta in Atlanta, GA, 2013
--Produced by
Mostly Harmless in Schenectady, NY, 2014
--Produced by
Alpha NYC in Manhattan, NY, 2015
--Produced by
Actors Workout Studio in North Hollywood, CA, 2015
--Produced by
Charles Stewart Playhouse in Woodland Hills, CA, 2015
--Excerpt published in
222 More Comedy Monologues by Smith & Kraus, 2016
--Produced by
Newnan High School in Newnan, GA, 2016
--Produced by
Robert Morris University in Moon Township, PA, 2017


ONE MINUTE PLAYS and STAND-ALONE MONOLOGUES

THE ACCIDENT - 1M. Monologue (1 min), An estranged father tries to convince his daughter not
to have an abortion in this dramatic monologue.
"Passive aggressive manipulation is a great anti-abortion tool that doubles as a Hallmark 'please
forgive me for not being your father for 8 years' card." (Bob Smith, Working Title Playwrights,
2015)
--Unproduced

THE ANTEATER - 1M. Monologue (1 min), A corrupt businessman is reincarnated as an anteater,
in this comedic monologue.
"Antony (hehe) finds out he's an anteater, which explains a lot in this humorous and absurd
monologue. Guyton captures anteater angst like no other. Recommended as an amusing and
offbeat audition piece or a night of monologues." (Bryan Stubbles, New Play Exchange, 2017)
--Performed at the Decatur Arts Festival in Decatur, GA, 2014
--Produced by
Gi60 in West Yorkshire, UK, 2015

FOUR MORE HOURS - 1M. Monologue (1 min), A death row inmate with only four hours left to
live, reflects on his life in this dramatic monologue.
*Winner - Actor Todd Risby used this monologue, and won Top Talent of the Year Award &
First Place in Monologue Competition at the Worldwide Star Search Showcase 2015*
"Daniel: I just want to say Thank You again for drafting such a wonderful monologue for me, that
I was able to use in LA at the showcase event I attended. It was beautifully written, with the proper
message, being delivered the proper way. Great work Daniel, and Thank You again!!!" (Todd
Risby, Actor, 2015)
--Performed at the Worldwide Star Search Showcase in Los Angeles, CA, 2015

GRANNY CAIN - 1F. Monologue (1 min), A Norcross GA resident welcomes guests to the once
famous Brunswick Hotel in this true-life, biographical piece.
"I just read the monologue for Granny Cain... OMG, This is fantastic. You covered everything...
This is just wonderful. I am teary eyed." (Tanya Caldwell, Lionheart Theatre, 2015)
--Commissioned by the Lionheart Theatre in Norcross, GA, 2015

THE GUY WITH THE HAIR - 2M or 2F. One-Act (1 min), Two people (not gender specific) debate
the merits of a possible Trump presidency.
--Produced by the One Minute Play Festival in Atlanta, GA, 2016

HALF-WIT - 2M,1F. One-Act (1 min), A yuppie neglects his father because he is not "socially
acceptable" in this comedic-dramatic short.
--Published in The Twisted Mind of Daniel Guyton (Poetry & Plays in the Dark Comedy Vein), 2009
--Presented at the
Last Frontier Theatre Conference in Valdez, AK, 2012
For more information, please click here.

THE JITTERS - 1M. Monologue (1 min), An awkward widower prepares for a blind date - the first
since his wife has passed away, in this comedic-dramatic monologue.
--Unproduced

A MAN OF FAITH - 1M. Monologue (1 min), A black man explains why he converted to Judaism
in this comedic-dramatic monologue.
--Unproduced

MEMOIRS OF A VAGITARIAN - 2F. One-Act (1 min), Two women debate the merits of
pleasuring themselves with organic food items in this comedic short.
--Produced by Mostly Harmless Productions in Schenectady, NY, 2014

OUT OF THE BAG - 1M, 1F. One-Act (1 min), A young couple argue after the pet cat gets out of
the house. During the course of the argument, deeper issues emerge.
--Produced by the One Minute Play Festival in Atlanta, GA, 2016

PAPER TOWELS - 1M. Monologue (1 min), A petty thief explains how he lost his teaching job in
this comedic-dramatic monologue.
"Stealing paper towels may seem like a victim-less crime, but if it's all you've got, you hit it with
the full force of the law." (Bob Smith, Working Title Playwrights, 2015)
--Published in 222 More Comedy Monologues by Smith & Kraus, 2016

PICTURES ON THE INTERNET - 1M. Monologue (10 min), A teenage girl commits suicide after a
"sexting" incident goes public. Her boyfriend deals with the fallout.
"I am very intrigued with your character 'Christian' and his monologue following his arrest and
girlfriend's suicide and I would love to perform this for my class, possibly the anti-bullying
assembly my school has coming up." (Trey Cowan, actor, 2015)
--Published in InterJACtions: Monologues at the Heart of Human Nature, Volume II, 2012
--Published in
Audition Monologues for Young Men 2016 by Pioneer Drama Services, 2016

THE RESIGNATION - 1M. Monologue (1 min), A socially awkward man writes his boss a
resignation letter, in this comedic monologue.
"Your weird, wild & wonderful solo work THE RESIGNATION has been selected for this year’s
edition of ROAR! This year we received over 290 submissions." (Irena Saric, Riverside Theatre,
2015)
"What a nebbish! Funny, in a pathetic sort of way. if you ever need a piece about someone who
really, REALLY doesn't get it, this is the short mono for you." (George Sapio,
New Play Exchange,
2017)
"I watched the show on Friday, and the audience responded great to
THE RESIGNATION, the
actor was interrupted with laughter a few times and it ended with a long clap." (Irena Saric,
Riverside Theatre, 2016)
--Performed at the Decatur Arts Festival in Decatur, GA, 2014
--Produced by
Cone Man Running Productions in Houston, TX, 2015
--Produced by
Riverside Theatre in Iowa City, IA, 2016

SURVIVOR'S GUILT - 1M. Monologue (1 min), A man recalls having lunch with a murderer mere
minutes before the attack, in this dramatic monologue.
--Unproduced

WASHING DISHES - 1M. Monologue (1 min), A husband has trouble pleasing his wife in this
comedic monologue.
"There was some good stuff last night... I will never wash dishes with the same attitude I used to
have before last night!" (Judith Beasley, Working Title Playwrights, 2014)
--Produced at the Last Frontier Theatre Conference in Valdez, AK, 2014


WORKS IN PROGRESS

FLAWS - Equally minimalist and multimedia-heavy exploration into the role of media on the
self-esteems and value perceptions of seven different college students at an all-American
university.
--In Progress

THE LEGEND OF STEEL CITY - A collection of ten-minute plays set in a steampunk universe.
Includes the completed plays Beneath the Monolith, Art: Official Intelligence, and The Brass
Banyan. The remaining plays in this series are still being drafted.
--In Progress

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE... - full-length. A middle-school student
draws comic strips about his teachers, until the thin line between reality and fantasy is
blurred. (Based on autobiographical experiences)
"This is such a great story. If you haven't already, you should find a way to write it into a play or
something. It would also make a good short monologue." (Colleen Gaenssley, Onstage Atlanta,
2015)
"That's an amazing story. I think we just answered the same series of questions, and my response to
this one wasn't nearly in the same league! I bow down to you, sir!" (Arthur M. Jolly, playwright,
2015)
"What a great story!!!" (Deborah Smola, Black Sheep Theatre, 2015)
"Wow. Great story. That could be a play. Especially if you played up the geek factor and made it all
about his way to fit in. But at what cost?" (Brooke Deaver McCoy, actress, 2015)
"I was in your class! I LOVED your comics and remember he caught you making one during class
and he was pissed!" (Christine Russo, classmate, 2015)
"I remember all the parody writing you did back then. You were always very talented and funny!
Thanks for posting this, it started my day with a laugh and brought back some great memories!"
(Jennifer Knight Connor, friend, 2015)
"If this is a true story I sure hope you still have those comic strips. You could make a killing!"
(Lynn Bennett Brooks, friend, 2015)
"Great story I wish I had the talent to express myself in that way." (Patrick Roche, friend, 2015)
"To this day, Christine and I still talk about Mr. Burr's class and your comics. Your post brought
back some great memories. 'Bash, bash! Now the garbage can's dented! Thank you!' (Janine
Esposito, classmate, 2015)
"I remember seeing the comics in your notebooks in the basement (at your mom's) when I was so
little and I thought they were awesome." (Stephanie Porfert, cousin, 2015)
--In Progress

PRISON MONOLOGUES - full-length, 4M,4F. A collection of 8 eclectic monologues about people
in prison. Including ROMANCE IS DEAD, HATE MALE, JANUARY'S ALIBI, SAY HI TO
AGNES FOR ME, PICTURES ON THE INTERNET, BROWN ART, THE SINS OF REBETHANY
CHASTAIN, and more.
"'PRISON MONOLOGUES, PART I' by Daniel Guyton​, produced by Liberal Eye Productions is a
series of solo performances drawn on emotional power, subtle explorations of message, and dark,
evocative imagery that made this exhibition truly one of the powerhouses of this year's Fringe. All
of these narratives are powerfully delivered and bring something very interesting to the table. AC
Smallwood​, in "Hate Male," a monologue, plays the role of a very angry young woman who was
sexually abused wherein she attempts to seduce a prison guard. Hers is the most evocative tale.
Smallwood is captivating and a bit terrifying in her portrayal of this damaged character. Keep an
eye out for future offerings of this piece." (Daniel Lamb,
Edge Media Network, 2015)
"Dan's piece demonstrated his remarkable skill on all levels -- it was bawdy, clever, touching,
surprising and wonderfully spirited. A big bonus was to see the performance of Kate Guyton, who
admirably brought to life the first of the four monologues." (Hank Kimmel, Working Title
Playwright, 2015)
"If you thought Vagina Monologues were intense, you ain't seen shit" (Josh Vining, Onstage
Atlanta, 2015)
"This was a spectacular show. Four wonderful monologues. Yes Kate surprised me as a real
comedic talent. Oh and Peg Thon nearly scared the pee-pee out of me. Parents, teach your children
well to keep them out of prison!" (David Fisher, Working Title Playwrights, 2015)
"The show was great. Kate Guyton is fierce and fabulous! Your entire cast was fantastic." (Laura
King, Lionheart Theatre, 2015)
"Amazing job! All those ladies crushed it!" (Diana Brown, Atlanta Fringe Festival, 2015)
"Fantastic, the writing and the acting." (Mary Marshall, Working Title Playwrights, 2015)
"What an Amazing show! Real Life stories told in an extremely in your face fashion. Gut
wrenching Performances! You gotta check this out!" (Jason Louder, Atlanta Fringe Festival, 2015)
"Enjoyed this festival. Amazing Monologues. Great performances." (Ouida Collins, Atlanta Fringe
Festival, 2015)
"Stark simplicity... Writing conveyed the personal ties of the inmates beautifully and performances
were excellent." (Official Judge's Critique, Atlanta Fringe Festival, 2015)
"Congratulations to all! Terrific show, and a hugely talented cast." (Lee Raines, Working Title
Playwrights, 2015)
--In Progress


FOR SCREENPLAYS, PLEASE CLICK HERE.
I'm Not Gay! by Daniel Guyton (book cover)
The Darker Places Trilogy by Daniel Guyton (Circle Ensemble Theatre)
Darker Places Trilogy by Daniel Guyton (Impulse Repertory Company)
Click on underlined
titles for more details